Colonel Sanders, distant relative of the infamous Fidel Castro, announced yesterday that his chicken empire Kentucky Fried Chicken would be the primary sponsor of the upcoming Vuelta. In a shock announcement that left many Spaniards speechless, the Colonel will be supplying all riders chicken at all feed stations during the tour. "This is a great leap forward for us riders" commented Danish star Rasmussen, "I can now be full as a boot on crack, and chow down on the Colonel's choice chicken". Riders feasting on a wing or even a breast can expect to also gain benefit from the copious amounts of steroids pumped into the birds as they grow and develop. "Man I can't wait for KFC to sponsor some track events" an excited Ryan Bailey stated, "Chicken induced farts scare my rivals". Spaniards have been somewhat shocked at the news wondering why Nandos Chicken wasn't chosen as the sponsor. However the UCI strongly opposed the idea of Nandos being a sponsor as it would "Give local riders an unfair advantage as they are used to the hot sauces that cause the uninitiated snacker a burning ring of fire". The Colonel has announced that he will be producing special "boneless jersey pocket sized" pieces of chicken with a special grease absorbing wrapper for the event.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Colonel supports Vuelta
Colonel Sanders, distant relative of the infamous Fidel Castro, announced yesterday that his chicken empire Kentucky Fried Chicken would be the primary sponsor of the upcoming Vuelta. In a shock announcement that left many Spaniards speechless, the Colonel will be supplying all riders chicken at all feed stations during the tour. "This is a great leap forward for us riders" commented Danish star Rasmussen, "I can now be full as a boot on crack, and chow down on the Colonel's choice chicken". Riders feasting on a wing or even a breast can expect to also gain benefit from the copious amounts of steroids pumped into the birds as they grow and develop. "Man I can't wait for KFC to sponsor some track events" an excited Ryan Bailey stated, "Chicken induced farts scare my rivals". Spaniards have been somewhat shocked at the news wondering why Nandos Chicken wasn't chosen as the sponsor. However the UCI strongly opposed the idea of Nandos being a sponsor as it would "Give local riders an unfair advantage as they are used to the hot sauces that cause the uninitiated snacker a burning ring of fire". The Colonel has announced that he will be producing special "boneless jersey pocket sized" pieces of chicken with a special grease absorbing wrapper for the event.
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