Sat night and Glenvale.

Well what an eventful weekend. I don’t know how much to say about the dinner on Sat night. Pluses were that Wevans is piss funny, some of the guests were interesting, food was good and Doug Reith (And Dale) love their Cycling. Overall I had a pretty good night. I guess all CoT members know what happened to sour the night and for me the out fall is that John Nicholson and Rowan are two very rude pricks, Tabitha whatever her surname is has too much say in the club and Blackburn seem to have turned into an old boys club. I can qualify these comments if need be. I like lots of people in the club, but the direction and structure is fucked-up and I wish it wasn’t. The funny thing is the club has hardly run a race all year (don’t count crits, I’m talking road races), and now they are going to turn around and ask all the “active” (read those who hold licenses) members to help for the Doherty Tour??? Fuck off.
Glenvale Cres.
Man it was hard getting out of bed loosing an hours sleep as well as a late night, but I was awake at 5am anyway so what the hell hey! I started the race feeling pretty good but soon realized I wasn’t quite as sharp as last week. It was a really strange race with attacks going down the road quite frequently and people not willing to hold wheels. At one stage this big silly bitch was in front of me and we were sharing the pace making. When she got near the front, the dude in front of her upped the pace to close to the break and she simply sat up and let the wheel go. Katie Mactier she is not. “Lump of Blancmange” what Brian B called her. Lol. Mind you she was no way near as bad as the Doherty clad nub who was overlapping wheels the whole race and rode straight into my rear derailleur. He hit pretty hard and I was surprised he didn’t fall off. I screamed “Don’t overlap wheels on a corner” and shortly after this funny dude rides up with a grin as says “Man that was a nice hook”. Made me laugh. I managed to break away for a short time and felt good so I was happy with that. Sprint was a DB with V (Dogs breakfast with vomit) and I was out of it. Next race please.
Saw Barry Woods and Tooting Monster on the way home, but no TKA or Wevans.

And you missed out on the hot Team Alex models handing out free lollies.

Emerald Hill Brewery (and DISC 26/10/2006)

I had a real busy day yesterday - it was full on! I rode to work and back then when I got home I packed the car with my track stuff (bike on the roof etc.) and headed into South Melbourne for the Emerald Hill Brewery Quarterley Shareholders meeting. I managed to get there in peak hour traffic at 6:15pm (meeting started at 6pm) and left the meeting early at 7:16pm (after drinking a pot of Wheat Beer). Track racing at DISC (Northcote) starts at 7:30pm (do you see a problem here?). I flew down Kings Way, King St, and La Traobe St, before ringing my mate who had just finished warming up at the track (at 7:25pm) and asked him if he could enter me in A grade and get me a number as I'm running a bit late.

I got to the track at 7:49pm. D grade scratch race was finished. C grade scratch race was finished. B grade scratch race was happening. An official saw me carrying my bike and bag etc. and said "You've got 19 laps to get ready Steve". I said "That's heaps of time". Pat Dougherty helped me change my front wheel and pump up my tyres while I got dressed. I had time to roll around the duck boards for 3 laps on my 93.6 before A grade was called to the start line. I decided to use the 25 lap A grade scratch race as my warm up. The attacks started in the first lap but I sat in safely for a top 10 finish (and a nice warm up). I jumped on the rollers and continued warming up and mentally prepared myself for the Points Race (I was going to win it or die trying. Go Monster, get Angry!).

A grade Points Race. 20+ starters. 29 laps. 4 sprints. I got in a small breakaway early on and won the first sprint by a mile then jumped straight on 2 guys who had jumped away from the bunch and the 3 of us worked turns to the second sprint. I won that too! I just sat in and didn't sprint for the 3rd sprint and managed to stay with the bunch to the finish. I won the A grade Points Race last night. Very happy about that (especially considering no warm up, very sore from beep test, drank EHB Wheat beer on my way to the track etc.).

www.emeraldhillbrewery.com.au

Beep Test and Glenvale 22/10/2006

Photo: Monster (Le Tour Cycles) moving forward to do a Monsterous turn on the front of the breakaway group.


Beep Test

Wednesday lunchtime at the Senior Site there was a staff vs student Beep Test Challenge in front of at least 100 spectators (mainly staff and students). I won the challenge in 2004 with a PB of 13-2. In 2005 I won with a 12 something. This year a year 9 student lasted until 12-6 but I kept going and did a PB of 13-11. I wish there was more competition coz I would push myself more if there was someone to beat other than myself. Anyway, I looked up a "Beep Test Calculator" and it reckons 13-11 equates to an approximate V02 Max of just over 60. It is certainly not accurate as it doesn't take into account things like: How slippery is the floor, how good/bad a runner you are, how good/bad you are at turning around and running in the opposite direction, etc. But it does give an indication as to a persons fitness. I really wish I'd worn my heart rate monitor - 200+ for sure I reckon! My legs are killing me, I'm so not used to running!

Glenvale A on Sunday

Glenvale A grade (49 starters). I started with an upset stomach and was thinking I shouldn’t be racing at all. I thought to myself “I’ll just sit in today and take it easy”. I took it easy for the first 10 minutes then thought “stuff this” and went up the front. Around the half way mark I got in a break and stayed away for around 20 minutes before some massive turns by Finning and Gallagher (and JG) pulled us back with around 10 minutes to go. Finning immediately attacked and I went with it and it was then counter attacked and the race really fired up. I pretty soon found myself near the back then the bunch split and a group of around 15 had ridden off the front. We got 3 to go and the front group still had a handy lead. The strung out back group caught the strung out front group at the bell and I was in about 40th wheel. I had just started to recover so I flew past around 30 riders (in the service lane and down the back straight). As I went past JG (the only other rider wearing Le Tour clothing in A grade) I said “Get on, I’ll lead you out”. He couldn’t stay on my wheel through the 2nd last corner as I continued to work my way towards the front.

I should have started sprinting before the last corner but I braked to avoid running into a Malaysian who braked in the middle of the final corner (I was on his wheel but I should have been in front of him). I was about 8th around the last corner (should have been first or second). I sprinted the fastest but I started from too far back. I overtook the Malaysian and some other nub, and just before the line I got over Warren Knevitt and nearly Sean Finning (but not quite). I finished 5th.

A Grade 1 hour + 3 laps 49 Starters
1 Pete Johnstone Chelsea & Peninsula
2 Mohd Salleh Malaysia
3 Mohd Ruslan Malaysia
4 Sean Finning Castlemaine
5 Steve Martin Blackburn
6 Warren Knevitt Carnegie Caulfield

TheKillerAnt - The road too far..

The Road Too Far.. (substitute the snow for rain, sun, and strong gusty winds..please)Riding a bicycle from Melbourne (Altona) to Warrnambool (City Central) on Saturday was always going to sting the legs but i had no idea what i was in for.

The Beginning
In the 'nuetral' 10kms at the start i got held up (i had to un-clip and wait for the road to clear) by a fall about 3kms into the 'neutral' section. Those of us held up by the fall had to work turns flat-out in an attempt to get back onto the bunch...which did eventually happen, as we crossed the start line. Then it was single file agony into stiff side winds and the race got smashed up.

The Beginning is the end is the beginning (a great song by the pumpkins)
I (we) chased flat-out for 3hrs to the first feed station, picking up dropped riders and shedding weak ones whenever we felt like it. 6 of us made it to the feed station in the chase group after enduring rain, and winds gusting from every bl00dy direction, and then CRRRUNNNCH, 2 of them fell off into each other, leaving me and 3 others (now 30 metres up the road) to continue chasing the bunch that was in and out of sight for the first 3 hours. I couldnt bridge the gap to the 3 other chasers and watched them get back on and i kept TTing for 30minutes, getting to within roughly 30-odd metres of the bunch.The Wash-up
I rode another 2hrs-ish and after 180kms, and some pretty cooked legs, lungs and ticker, i got off and simply said "enough". Then i got back to warny, by car, and enjoyed two fantastic days @ warny, riding (slowly) and taking in the sights whilst recovery from the 3.5 hours of crazy, brilliant, fantastic training that i had (mostly 90+% of Hr MAx, maxxing @ 98%) during my warny experience. I'm very happy with how it went, it may seem like a wasted day but for me and my serious objectives it was just the best possible training and experience i could have had!!


In other news

My legs are very tanned...and i saw 6 crashes on saturday but didnt fall in any of them ;)

Peace all
Ant

Le Gunsle's New Bundle........

Well Guyz, it's happened.
On Friday Morning we woke early with an air of excitement.
7:30am we rang the hospital to get the final ok for the induction.
After receiving the green light, we headed on in, arriving around 8am.
Co-incidentally the Mrs Pregnancy Doctor happened to be just passing thru, and took the opportunity to 'break her waters'. A sterile device similar to a knitting needle was used.This gave me the time to catch up with my book 'Soldier Five' by Mike Coburn.
After several runs up and down the stairs to try and speed things along, it was decided we needed 'the drugs' to bring the contractions along. This happened @ 11:15am.
It didn't take long for the contractions to start up, almost immediately it was averaging 4 within 10mins @ approx 40sec duration.
We all put money on what time it would all happen. My money was on 2:10pm. The others 3-4pm.
Well in the end, I shit it in, Dakota Kiah was born @ 2:03.30pm.
7lb 13oz (3.545kg) 50cm long.Needless to say, T-Man was just a lil wrapped (as was Dakota)

Addition to the extented CoT family...

KoC (King of CoT) Gunsle has recently had a new baby bub bub. Congrats! We are still yet to see a pic of the new minigunsle but I found a few posibilities..

Seriously, can we see a picky of the new bub???

DISC Indoor Track racing - 19/10/2006

Last night there were 20+ riders in A grade. The Malaysian national team were once again well represented but Adrian Hanson rode well to get 2 firsts and a second. Stevie Martin came 3rd in the 25 lap Scratch race and 2nd in the 29 lap Points Race (4 sprints, Steve won the 2nd sprint and came 3rd in the 3rd sprint). There was no frigin BANG!! used at all, just some sensible riding and good positioning. Steve used the 29 lap Motor Pace as a warm down and was spinning pretty fast on his 93.6 when he was still with the leaders at the bell (but didn't bother sprinting).

"The Frigin Bang is back" is back!! DISC 12/10/2006

Monster turned up to DISC Indoor Track racing last night (third week in a row).

A grade scratch race – 19 cyclists. Monster rode his usual 93.6 and the pace was on for the 25 lap scratch. Several futile attacks were attempted during the race then Adrian Hanson broke away with about 6 laps to go to get a big lead. Stuart Vaughan and a few others got off the front and were bridging the gap. With around 3 laps to go, Monster flew from the bunch and went past everyone in front of him (but he blew up with half a lap to go) but still managed to stay in front to the line (and couldn’t believe how easy he took the win). As he crossed the finish line he got the bell. Damn it! Monster can’t count backwards! Monster pushed on for another 250 metre lap and still managed to just hang on for 3rd. Dumbass! (Big Stuart Vaughan did a great ride for 2nd I believe)

A grade points race – 19 cyclists. 29 laps. 4 sprints. Whistle for sprints at 22, 15, 8, and the bell at 1 lap to go. First sprint got a bit crazy. Monster didn’t sprint and stayed out of trouble and near the front in around 6th. After the sprint a group of 4 went clear and got about half a lap on the field. Second sprint – riders went real early (trying to catch the break) and bunch split while monster was having a snooze at the back. Monster decided to let other riders tow him back to the front but they all got dropped so Monster did a solo effort for about 4 laps to catch back up to the leaders (maybe about 10 of them left in the front bunch by now, with Monster just tacking on the back as they started the sprint at 8 laps to go). Monster managed to just hang on the back as they sprinted then they started launching solo attacks and going clear from now until the finish. With 2 laps to go there groups of 1, 2, and 3 riders strung out for the final sprint with Monster at the back of the leading riders. Monster went friging BANG!! and fully flew past absolutely everyone in front of him and had timed his run to perfection, winning the final sprint by at least 5 metres. He was frigin flying. The frigin’ BANG!! is back!!! Winning the final sprint was enough for Monster to take 3rd overall in the Points Race (on count back).

A grade Motor Pace – 21 cyclists. 25 laps. Monster decided to use this as a warm down and had no intention to finish it on his tiny 93.6. Half way through the race Adrian Hanson decided to improve his position by riding under me and tried to take my wheel (big Stuart Vaughan). Get stuffed! You’re no taking my wheel. He pushed me up. I pushed him down. Up, down, up, down. He kept riding underneath for about 7 laps. The rider behind yelled at us to sort our shit out (he was worried about a crash, seriously – it was quite dangerous). I just came straight down on Hanson (which would have taken out his front wheel if he hadn’t backed off). F*ck him. It was my wheel first. You let them push you around once then they will expect they can get away with it every time. PS. I should have let him have the wheel coz as it turned out I had to swing off the bike 1 lap too early and was too far back to sprint (even though I felt great coz I was angry). I couldn’t let him have the wheel – it is the principle that counts.

What Happened to the Friggin Bang! ??

I am looking for the friggin Bang! post but all I got was some crappy pictures..


































Seriously, wot happened to it?? Is CoT Blog turning into a soap opera?? Can this crappy post bring it back to the surface??
Are the CoT's wheels falling off?? Will TKA and Monster eva sort out their differences? Will T(e) eva get laid? Will Gunsle kiss Rowena? Will Ben (ji) be the new Bart Cummings? Will TKA eva feed the chickens again? Stay tuned...

Mystery Blog Deleter Strikes Again!

Monster's last 2 blog entries have mysteriously vanished.

I noted that he is a demagogue and provocateur who was obviously a cockhead just to get people stirred-up. Then his entry disappeared!

Shocker!

But I'm not accusing anyone. It's just sad that The CoT Blog has to get such a black eye over all this unchecked blog-tampering...

Ok fair enough his sh!t post with pictures was deleted, some say it shouldn't have been there in the first place. But really, what about the comments that belonged to others? They had more value than the actual post itself.

But Monster's Frigin Bang I'm back post, no need to delete that.

Why??

Rowena Geddes gets new *Gift* Bikes & Blackburn a new sponsor.

Well allegedly it's happening today, Bicycle ShitStore will today sign up as the new sponsors of Blackburn Cancelling Club. No doubt the new deal will comprise the usual under the table *Gift* for Rowena. A new Bianchi Track Bike & Road Bike is prolly coming his way, not too soon though we don't want to attract any undue attention like we did with the FREEBIE Inexa Track frame Rowena scored last time.

10 of Monster's cycling acheivements

From oldest to newest...(I'm not a has been - I've won races in the last few months). Damn. That's a nasty thing to say. I take it back coz it could offend the gunsle who did the previous post.

10. 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 State Club Teams Championships - GOLD – Team Pursuit (2006 - Gold in Team Sprint)

9. 2002 Blackburn Cycling Club Road Champion – 2nd Gunsle, 3rd Guy Green, 4th Richard England (current Australian Criterium Champion).

8. 2003 and 2004 - Completed the Melbourne to Warrnambool (twice).

7. 2004 Bendigo Gold & Opal Wheelrace Final – 2000m
1st


6. REPRESENTED AUSTRALIA TWICE.

2004 OCEANIA Track Championships
2nd – Team Pursuit
6th – Madison
10th – Points Race

2005 OCEANIA Track Championships
2nd – Team Pursuit
4th – Individual Pursuit

5. Raced in the Bendigo International Madison with Gunsle (got paid $200 each to race)

4. Raced in the 2004 and 2005 Australian Madison Championship (got paid to race)

3. Raced in the 2005 A Grade Bay Series Teams Event

2. 2006 Blackburn Cycling Club Track Champion – Scratch Race (Gold), Kilo (Gold), Pursuit (Gold), Points Race (Gold).

1. 2006 – won 4 Regional Combine A grade criteriums at Casey Fields.

Gunsle Rapunzel's Top 10 cycling achievements.

1. 1993 Australian TTT Champion - Won the Australian Team Time Trial Championship in the U17 Mens, beat NSW by 25secs. My team included, Me (Anchorman), Luke Roberts (Now CSC Rider & former World Champion), Shaun Boschert (Friend) & Matthew Young.

2. 1993 Australian ITT Bronze Medalist - 3rd place 2secs behind Gold Medalist Luke Roberts, 1 sec behind Josh Collingwood (NSW).

3. Youngest ever Austral Wheelrace place getter - Finished 3rd behind Ash Harding (Bendigo) & Troy Clarke (Hilton Clarke's Sr's Eldest Son & Hilton Clarke Jr's Brother)

4. Won the last EVER Tuesday Night AFL Park Race - Brendan Rowbotham 2nd, Richard Knight 3rd.

5. 4th Place Australian J19 Mens ITT Championship - Luke Roberts 1st (1min ahead),
Corey Sweet 2nd, Cadel Evans 3rd

6. Won Blackburn Cycling Club Elite Road Championship - Tom Leaper 2nd, Monster well down.

7. Won Metropolitan Road Championship J19 Mens - Cadel Evans 2nd.

8. Won Stage 1 2006 ToFH - WEvans 2nd, Monster well down.

9. Won Blackburn Cycling Club Elite Sprint Championship - Barry Woods 2nd, Monster DNS.

10. Rode Bendigo Madison - Partnered with Monster, did 80% of the work and had an absolute ball, I was riding like a machine at the time, almost bulletproof.

Snappy answers to stupid comments…

Dickhead drivers. We hate em…As a cyclist, coming to a new workplace (and from an old one with similar attitudes), you cop a fair few stoopid comments. It’s like some people can’t see past the end of their noses. I thought I would share some stoopid comments/question that I have had over the years and would love to know if you have some great responses (ie Mad magazine style), or have had similar comments thrown your way…
*Comment in brackets is inside T9E0’s brain.

1. “You’re not one of these cyclist that ride four across the road blocking the whole road are you?”
(You’re not one of those fat arsed people who wear bike short in supermarkets blocking entire aisles are you?)

2. “Well, you know, you just open your car door as you go past…”
(Is that before or after I feed you your liver?)

3. “You are mad riding on the main highway, cars wizzing past at 100kph…”
(Just wait till I start wizzing in your coffee..”)

4. “I hate it when riders wear dark clothing, you can’t see them in the shade”
(Can you see this? [smack them with open hand slap])

5. “You don’t pay rego so you don’t belong on the road”(I can see you were standing in the wrong line when they handed out brains)



Share the road.
Shalom.

Le Gunsle's Top 10 F'Ups

1. Not Riding the Junior World Championships - Riding my Track Pursuit bike on the road with no brakes thru a late orange/red light into the front left hand guard of a new Toyota Celica which was finishing it's turn presuming the oncoming traffic had already stopped, except for me who'd decided that I couldn't stop that quick so would keep going. I was in the best form of my life about to race the State Track Champs where I could/should have won all 5 events. Which would have got me into the Victorian Track Team AGAIN where I should have placed Top 3 in 2-3 events @ National Championships which inturn would have got me a spot on the Australian Team to ride the Junior World Championships in Italy.

So far 13 years, emo 10, $-1700 (I made money on the insurance claim)

2. Outrunning the Cops for the 8th time - Was on 11demerit points driving thru Woori Yallock doing 93kmh in a 60zone. Did a uturn and pissed off, Cops chased me, overtook car over Double White lines round a blind corner @ 140kmh, Dissapeared into the fog doing 215kmh.

5years of not being able to get insurance in my name(12month loss of licence + 3months loss of licence for too many demerit points.), emo 10, $2850.50 fine

3. Unricipricated love - Falling head over heels with Heather Lawrence. Chasing for 6 years only to go out with her after school for a few months. I should have listened to Monster.

6-12months of being a Fucked up, Emo 9.9, $?? More importantly no sex :(

4. Going hungerflat while leading a Tour - Won the Opening Prologue TT of 'Tour of Euroa' beating Luke Roberts (*Now CSC, was reigning World Junior Pursuit Champion) by 8secs over the 8km course. Noone could believe he didn't win. Out gunsled. Anyway I rode the 110km 2nd Stage wearing the Yellow Jersey. Got into a break whilst marking Luke Roberts. Hit a 5km Dirt Section where I attacked and dropped him, opening up a 30sec-1min lead. During all the chasing and attacking I forgot to eat and went hunger flat. I ended up going cross eyed and finished up laying on the road with the trees spinning around me. Tour Over....

1 day & 6 Beers, emo 3, $400 possible prizemoney maybe? Endless glory. I did win $110 for the prologue though.

5. Stopping racing when I was good - I stopped racing when I was like 18-19 cause I was sick of it and all the BS. I made a brief comeback after 12months off the bike, Monster encouraged me back on the bike a couple of week before club champs, I did 3-4 rides and won the club champs by 2+mins.

7years off the bike, emo 2, $? Only the money I didn't win while I wasn't racing.

6. Ran Third in an Austral Final - When I was 16 I was in the Track Form of my life I made the Austral final easily, In the final riding off 140metres I was in 'The Joke' with 8 other riders, I was one of the two 'Peas' (Maybe that's where the term 'Heart like a frozen Pea' comes from???) I got to 2 1/2 laps from the finish in 3rd wheel having not done a single turn, I was sitting pretty on a 93.6" gear (The same gear I'd used in every race all year as that was all I had) I thought I should attack but realised Stephen Pate was 1/2 a lap down on us STILL, and that we had the Austral in the bag, if I stayed where I was I'd finish at least 3rd. So I did nothing. Got 3rd. Regretted it since. Now no more jokes, Fuck off! Your better off riding 1 out and losing 1000 times to win that 1 time on your own and have all the $$$ & Glory!! I became the youngest ever place getter in the Austral at that stage. Ashley Harding won, Troy Clarke 2nd.

Ever Since, emo 4, $5000 in possible winnings

7. Fell off in a Kilo - When I was 18 I was racing the State Kilo Champs @ Coburg Velodrome, I was the reigning Junior U19 & Elite Men State Champion having won it when I was 16 with a time of 1min 10:13. Beating all the Juniors and the Elite Men, inc. David Dew a legendary kilo rider from Echuca who'd ridden Comm Games etc. On the 2nd Lap of the Kilo I came out of the bend too low and clipped the duckboards whilst approx 15-20metres UP (it was run in pursuit format) on Troy Clarke who went on to win it (And the Austral later that year). After clipping the duckboards I lost control @ approx 70kmh and slid about 70 metres down the straight on my side, grazing 75square cm of skin. After getting touched up with a bit of Betadine Spray, I refused an ambulance and drove home FLATOUT in Gunsle, having to stop @ a servo for gas as I was running out, the service station attendant was like 'WTF?? Do you want me to call an ambulance??'. I never managed to live this down amongst my CoT Bretheren. Had I not fallen off I would have won the Kilo AGAIN and probably posted around a 1min 9sec time.

6mnth, emo 3, $no just lots of Glory

8. Not smashing the fuck out of Rod - When I lost Heather and Rod cut my lunch I should have smashed the fuck out of him.

1 day, emo 1, $0

9. Not Starting the CoT sooner

28 years, emo5, $0

10. Taking a week to write a top 10 list

1 week, emo 1, $0

All CoT members get on their bikes...

Sunday 8th October saw all 4 CoT members take to the streets. Timmy and Ant went down to Glenvale. Gunsle took the kids out. Monster went down to Port Melbourne for the first week of the Audi Adrenalin Crit. Series. I nearly didn’t get there in time coz the tunnel was closed and I left my Melway at home. Inbound city traffic was like a carpark – maybe it had something to do with the Melbourne Marathon.

I finally got there at 9:15am for a 9:30am start. I had just enough time for a quick warm up and get my number and I lined up at the front, right behind the Audi pace car. I looked to my right and I saw someone who looked just like Micky D, only taller (who said hi to me so I guess it was him). The SKCC official then said "go" and I wasn’t even on my bike yet so I soon found myself at the back. I flew up the left and sat in wind about 20 metres behind the pace car for the neutral first 2 laps then the attacks started and I soon found myself last wheel (probably due to lack of warm up).

The pace eased for a second around the 30 minute mark and I was now warmed up so I moved forward and saw there was a breakaway and several guys trying to get across. I jumped across to form a chase group of 4 and we worked well together until there was only 2 of us left and we caught the breakaway. With us there that made 11 riders (out of sight of the main bunch). We continued working then I realized there was about 4 guys (including Robert Crowe) in front. We got closer and closer and in the final lap we just about reached them before the line. I’m now guessing there may have been more than 4 in front and think I came about 10th or so.

Well run and friendly atmosphere. Free coffee. Free BBQ. Heaps of riders in each grade. Good racing.

TheKillerAnt - Strange Strange Happenings

This is my 1st post after the infamous CoT blog post/comment deletion episode, I hope i can bring the standard back up to where it once was :)

Left: Is'nt this what we all aspire to be!!

The funniest thing happened the other day, i was in South Yarra, otherwise known as Prahran, it was a super windy Sunday at approximatly (spelling?) 10am.

Thats not the funny bit

I'm sure plenty of you will know the skate park, famous half pipe and basketball court just around the corner from Chapel St which is where this funny little happening takes place.

We had just pulled up in the car, i was eating a tomato and chive pull-apart dough from bakers delight, and i (luckily) looked out of the window in the direction of the half pipe. The half pipe has always, and i mean always, provided many laughs and even more wowing sights with some really talented skaters, bladers and bmxers doing their crazy craft (whilst sometimes up to 30-40 people look on). On this occassion there was an odd middle aged man, i'm guessing he was around 45, dressed in a light blue business shirt, trousers, shirt tucked in, and, and, this is the clincher, he was weilding a massive broad sword!! No BS, i have proof, i actually took the photo, and then tried for some video footage but he spotted me and lowered his sword and eye-balled me so i chose to walk away, rather quickly. anyway, back to the story!

He was in full 'highlander' mode, in broad daylight, doing these crazy martial arts moves with his broad sword, he had about a 4-5metre space around him that he was furiously defending from imaginary challengers, lunging into some stances that Jet Li would be proud of (and all whilst he was tucked in, very dignified)

The CLINCHER

If that wasn't enough, he tired of the broad sword and reached onto the painted basketball court concrete and swaped his sword for a rather massive Bo (a massive round stick)!!

And then he got all crazy like, he was now in a speed frenzy, he had that thing rotating around his head and body like no tomorrow, and now some of the people playing basketball (a young family) stopped their play to watch in amazement as Sword man swung the Bo at imaginary adversary's in every direction like a man possessed.

I was in my element, i couldn't get my eyes off him, this was one of those random moments that you have to see with your own eyes to trully appreciate!! I know some of you will be doubtful of this as its sooooo very unusual but i swear its true, this freak exists!!

I salute you Sword Man, i hope our paths cross once again

TheKillerAnt , (risked life getting pic for blog)

ps. To all my loyal readers out there, please stay 'posted' for another post in the next day or so re: (ji's) 21st, thanks for a great night (ji)

Nick's top 5

Nick's top 5 Lifetime fuckups until now are..

5. Driving 1985 300zx and finding it doesnt like dirt roads and crashing into a ditch. Got pulled out of hole in side of road at snowy river National Park by Tow truck, then having it go up in flames from an injector leak spoilling a second theatric viewing of Fight club! Probbly 15 grand lost in that episode-the car not the movie!
4. Riding bike up Wellington rd and deciding to ride left hand on right handle bar and vice versa which resulted in broken wrist and lots of lost self esteem-wait a minute-none to loose.
3. Looking at and following for months then finally not purchasing AMP shares just before it fell in may 2003. When i still had balls and money to invest it would have payed big time- i could have left home, bought a girl- or a harem of girls, then studies a doctorate in surfing technology.
2. Lending money to people-espicially phillipino bastard with drug addictions! What was i thinking?
1. Should have stayed in America- had money-kind of a job and a decent girl , so what if i was an illegal immigrant- better that, than to be a 30 something still living at home with the oldies!

Monster's Top 5 (f'ups)

5. Bad financial decision - Paid about 40% too much for an investment property ($98,500 for a property worth about $70,000 in 1999).

6 months beating myself up about it, another 3 years thinking what a dumbass I am, emo 8.5, $28,500+ extra interest, extra stamp duty, extra everything…

4. I told my boss how f’d up people are who come from that little town (which shall remain anonymous) along the Warby Rail trail just before you get to Warburton. I was saying that the people from there are missing teeth, are inbred, smell, etc. He then told me his parents live there. We haven’t spoken about it since. (Serious).
3. Didn’t do Macleans. Damn it.
2. I didn’t sleep with any chicks when I went to Cairns in 2003.
3 years and counting, emo 10.5, ½ Million and counting…
1. Bike Crashes:
* Crashed on the track at the end of a warm up. Girl fell over in front of me. I hit her and broke top tube and down tube of borrowed track frame.
* Crashed in the final of the Austral on National TV while in 4th wheel with only 1 lap (250m) to go.
* Crashed in the DeBauchery Tour while in 2nd wheel with 200m to go in a 102km Stage 1. Ran into the cokhead in front of me who started sprinting then decided to stop with 200m to go.
* Crashed while in 1st wheel on the front of the bunch in A grade Glenvale trying to take the corner into the back straight at over 55km/h in the wet. Hit the gutter with the bike, flew over the Nature Strip, and landed on the concrete.

Eventually Google will search for everything!!

c/o Ben(ji)

Top 5

Sorry dude, but it's all true. I know my top 5 is much worse and I'll write it up next.

Top 5 F.Up's for a very special guy. See if you can guess the CoT member.

5. Spent around $25K on a VH commodore.
4. Told Steve M to "Get the F.uck out of my house" on New Years Eve in the mid-late 90's.
3. Went out with Heather and went crazy psycho.
2. Blew out to over 100 Kilo's! Nuff said.

1. Rode a track bike down Wantirna Rd and took out a car with his body just before the Junior Road Nationals which was his chance to go to Junior Worlds. Missed out on GOLD in ITT by only 2 seconds and ended up 3rd (needed to finish top 2).

Another top 5 for same dude:

5. Did a 180 in the Torana in the Dandenongs and got ferns in the bumpers.
4. Got caught by the cops doing double the speed limit more than once (and lost licence heaps).
3. Wrecked a pair of size 15 $250 Reebok Pumps when he fell in the water next to the skate/sting-ray I'd just about landed (that he was trying to stab with a knife) off the break-water in Port Fairy (and shit himself in the process)
2. Backed off in Austral final and took 3rd when he could have won it because he was in a joke and was going to get his share of the money from the guy who won it, so why bother winning?

1. Crashed in a Kilo (Who crashes in a Kilo?) - Nuff said.

Interbike show, Las Vegas, USA, September 25-29, 2006

I ask you, why can't our bike shows in Australia be like this???

Plenty of "Village" bicycles on show.. Mind you I think I would like ride...