Le Gunsle's Top 10 F'Ups

1. Not Riding the Junior World Championships - Riding my Track Pursuit bike on the road with no brakes thru a late orange/red light into the front left hand guard of a new Toyota Celica which was finishing it's turn presuming the oncoming traffic had already stopped, except for me who'd decided that I couldn't stop that quick so would keep going. I was in the best form of my life about to race the State Track Champs where I could/should have won all 5 events. Which would have got me into the Victorian Track Team AGAIN where I should have placed Top 3 in 2-3 events @ National Championships which inturn would have got me a spot on the Australian Team to ride the Junior World Championships in Italy.

So far 13 years, emo 10, $-1700 (I made money on the insurance claim)

2. Outrunning the Cops for the 8th time - Was on 11demerit points driving thru Woori Yallock doing 93kmh in a 60zone. Did a uturn and pissed off, Cops chased me, overtook car over Double White lines round a blind corner @ 140kmh, Dissapeared into the fog doing 215kmh.

5years of not being able to get insurance in my name(12month loss of licence + 3months loss of licence for too many demerit points.), emo 10, $2850.50 fine

3. Unricipricated love - Falling head over heels with Heather Lawrence. Chasing for 6 years only to go out with her after school for a few months. I should have listened to Monster.

6-12months of being a Fucked up, Emo 9.9, $?? More importantly no sex :(

4. Going hungerflat while leading a Tour - Won the Opening Prologue TT of 'Tour of Euroa' beating Luke Roberts (*Now CSC, was reigning World Junior Pursuit Champion) by 8secs over the 8km course. Noone could believe he didn't win. Out gunsled. Anyway I rode the 110km 2nd Stage wearing the Yellow Jersey. Got into a break whilst marking Luke Roberts. Hit a 5km Dirt Section where I attacked and dropped him, opening up a 30sec-1min lead. During all the chasing and attacking I forgot to eat and went hunger flat. I ended up going cross eyed and finished up laying on the road with the trees spinning around me. Tour Over....

1 day & 6 Beers, emo 3, $400 possible prizemoney maybe? Endless glory. I did win $110 for the prologue though.

5. Stopping racing when I was good - I stopped racing when I was like 18-19 cause I was sick of it and all the BS. I made a brief comeback after 12months off the bike, Monster encouraged me back on the bike a couple of week before club champs, I did 3-4 rides and won the club champs by 2+mins.

7years off the bike, emo 2, $? Only the money I didn't win while I wasn't racing.

6. Ran Third in an Austral Final - When I was 16 I was in the Track Form of my life I made the Austral final easily, In the final riding off 140metres I was in 'The Joke' with 8 other riders, I was one of the two 'Peas' (Maybe that's where the term 'Heart like a frozen Pea' comes from???) I got to 2 1/2 laps from the finish in 3rd wheel having not done a single turn, I was sitting pretty on a 93.6" gear (The same gear I'd used in every race all year as that was all I had) I thought I should attack but realised Stephen Pate was 1/2 a lap down on us STILL, and that we had the Austral in the bag, if I stayed where I was I'd finish at least 3rd. So I did nothing. Got 3rd. Regretted it since. Now no more jokes, Fuck off! Your better off riding 1 out and losing 1000 times to win that 1 time on your own and have all the $$$ & Glory!! I became the youngest ever place getter in the Austral at that stage. Ashley Harding won, Troy Clarke 2nd.

Ever Since, emo 4, $5000 in possible winnings

7. Fell off in a Kilo - When I was 18 I was racing the State Kilo Champs @ Coburg Velodrome, I was the reigning Junior U19 & Elite Men State Champion having won it when I was 16 with a time of 1min 10:13. Beating all the Juniors and the Elite Men, inc. David Dew a legendary kilo rider from Echuca who'd ridden Comm Games etc. On the 2nd Lap of the Kilo I came out of the bend too low and clipped the duckboards whilst approx 15-20metres UP (it was run in pursuit format) on Troy Clarke who went on to win it (And the Austral later that year). After clipping the duckboards I lost control @ approx 70kmh and slid about 70 metres down the straight on my side, grazing 75square cm of skin. After getting touched up with a bit of Betadine Spray, I refused an ambulance and drove home FLATOUT in Gunsle, having to stop @ a servo for gas as I was running out, the service station attendant was like 'WTF?? Do you want me to call an ambulance??'. I never managed to live this down amongst my CoT Bretheren. Had I not fallen off I would have won the Kilo AGAIN and probably posted around a 1min 9sec time.

6mnth, emo 3, $no just lots of Glory

8. Not smashing the fuck out of Rod - When I lost Heather and Rod cut my lunch I should have smashed the fuck out of him.

1 day, emo 1, $0

9. Not Starting the CoT sooner

28 years, emo5, $0

10. Taking a week to write a top 10 list

1 week, emo 1, $0