Le Gunsle's NYE @ Pyramid Rock - Phillip Island

Hi Guys,
Well well well, what a night it was.

I had one of the best nights ever on NYE, which included
BBQ Dinner at Luke's luxurious Permanent Caravan in Cowes. Where I downed around 5-6 Pure Blonde beers, including a traveller for the drive out there.
A night out on the P!ss with my beloved Br0-in-Law.

He supplied me with a FREE Ticket to the Pyramid Rock Festival valued at $175.
The Pyramid Rock Festival was a 2 day event, with 2 stages constantly running shows with some massive acts such as Sneaky Sound System, Grinspoon, That One Guy, Mammal, You Am I, The Cat Empire, Hilltop Hoods, Shihad just to name a few. (I've attached the bandlist)

Anyway, we arrived at the GP Car Park around 8pm and had to wait for a shuttle bus to the concert area.
Arriving around 8:30 we headed straight (almost straight except for detouring to get 4 beers, 2each.) for Pharoah's Annex where we looked for Luke's 'Valley' Friends.

We looped round the outside and Luke saw a heap of Camping Chairs and an Esky and announced, 'That's their sh!t!, they'll be round here somewhere.'

We found them up the front enjoying the show. After necking my 2 Toohey's Extra Dry's I headed back for more beer for me, with Luke giving me even more Beer Coupons as you can't use money at the bar. Coupons only, which u have to queue for, he also explained that we only needed 1 beer each as you only have 2 when u arrive!

Ok so I came back. Gave luke his beer, and noticed that out of Luke's friends, a few were missing, notably, Camille who is 'Gateso's' longterm GF (I think his real name is Justin and he's a bricklayer, Luke's best friend and also works on similar jobs to Luke, he also has about 5-6 guys working for him).

So I headed back to 'Their Sh!t' to find Camille and say hello, I saw 3 girls back there and as I ruled out 2 as being Camille, I immediately grabbed her from behind spinning her round, only to see that, it wasn't camille and I'd just groped and hugged it was someelse.....I looked around embarressed and said "Your not Camille!" she just looked back shocked and her friends did the same. Then I looked at her 'Chubby' friend and asked, do you know Camille? "Yes but that's not her!" came her reply, I explained myself just as Camille re-appeared and we all had a good chuckle, at about the same time. Luke and the boys turned up (there was approx 10 others in Luke's friends group total).
And we were told to Move outside to the MainStage to see Shihad, already we'd been there over an hour and it seemed like 2mins.
We arrived as I said at about 8:30-8:45 by the time we got beer. And 'That One-Guy' had already finished and we were moving on...WTF where does the time go when ur drunk? So I helped carry the esky and some camping chairs for the girls. Most of them knew me by now or had met me previously and knew me as "Quicky's brother in-law".

So we grabbed a good spot and set out their sprawl of eskies and chairs which stopped people walking thru where we were sitting. Not long after I offered to do another Beer run and got 4 more beers. Taking me into the teens by now as others had supplied them too. We watched Shihad, You am I and Hilltop Hoods and I can barely remember it, I remember dancing and recognizing some of the songs but really it's all just a drunked blur, I also recall going to the toilets once with one of the 'Valley Girls' the chubby one, oh yeah and even going to p!ss on the fence a few times after that as the toilets were too far!

I also remember going to buy more beer coupons. I spent my only $30 on them, I bought 6 ($5 a beer) to buy Luke some to repay him. When I eventually arrived back Luke had just bought 30beer coupons for $50 off some random bloke in the crowd who was going home, so there was heaps more P!ss to be drunk.

Funny thing was, everytime you left, you had to take a bearing of approx where our group was sitting, there were not isles or seat numbers or sections, just paddock all looking down to a stage which overlooked Bass Strait. So the first time I went I didn't check at all and was lost for what was apparently a long time, according to Luke as the beer was all warm.

Then when I went to the toilets with that chick, I told her I had it all under control and we again took ages to find our group which was funny as you could be 3metres from them and not see them, despite it being probably the biggest group there, if you include the chairs and eskies. But yet again it took ages to find them after doing several laps. I had a few reference points in the end and by luck we found them again. It was made even more difficult by the constantly flashing stage lights such as strobes and the darkness on the ground, you had to look down to avoid walking on people sitting or laying and my pupils didn't seem to want to dilate that quickly, the ground just being grass or dead hay was dark as dark without the usual floor lighting u might get at a regular concert. There must have been at least 10000people in that paddock watching the mainstage aroudn midnight when the Hilltop Hoods called the countdown. And I recall jumping and shouting and kissing and hugging everyone. I even got 'Gateso' up onto my shoulders after falling down once and we ran around, he said the crown was amazing from up there. "It just goes and goes and goes right back to the Bar".

Anyway, after midnight I headed of with Camille and 'Coop' one of the other valley girls, and the Chubby one, Camille had 'Gateso's' wallet and apparently it was his shout for food. So Camille bought me a hot chips, almost no queue's there.

After eventually finding them again, I collapsed in a chair for a while after drinking one of the girls vodka/lemon mixes that they'd smuggled in, I chatted to her heaps 'Coop' as she had the best B00bies there, with a heap of excess cleavage going on, she was 22. Eventually I passed out asleep drunk. When I came to I felt queezy, so being CBF to getting up, I just tilted my head to the side and checked I'd miss anyone I knew, and chucked. After a while they noticed I was chucking and all Luke and his mates cheered like F#ck. They thought it was great and even re-positioned the chairs so that 'any C#nt' trying to walk through our little site, would step in it, as most people were in thongs or barefoot. We'd had heaps of people trying to walk thru all night and we'd told em all to go round, not always in a polite manor but noone was gunna argue.
So eventually luke got me a water and insisted I drink it before having anymore beer. So I poured half of it out and drank a little. Before getting back onto the beer.

As the crowd started to thin around 2am, we started searching and found heaps of dropped beer coupons so we were wrapped to have more free beers.

Not long after all this my night really began, we moved inside as the outside stage finished at 2am. Whereas the Pharoahs Annex had shows till 6:30am.

So we went inside and I carried my favorite chair with a footrest and passed out again down the back. While they all danced and listened to the duff duff music.

I awoke sometime later after feeling a total relaxation of all my muscles while I was asleep.
Worried, I headed out thru a gap in the back of the circus type tent and saw drunken people passed out everywhere, there was a fence that outlined the tent annex thing.
I vaguely remember taking my shorts off, even more vaguely, taking a dump, I found out later that at the same time, GateSo, Luke's best mate, had also come outside with me and had take a piss on someone passed out on the ground...hahaha there's no doubting those Valley Boyz!
Then I headed inside the Annex found Luke and told him I was ready to go home. He said he wanted to stay a while, asked if I was ok? Asked if I knew how to get home, to which I replied YES! I told him I planned to walk home, he told me not to be stupid and thrust $30 in my hand while he explained in slow detail how to get home by shuttle bus. (Slowly so that the drunken me could understand)
I then headed off, in a bit of a rush, walked straight back to where we'd come in, I was then confronted by a 8-foot Steel Temporary Fence which directed or rather funnelled everyone to the shuttle bus area where there was a HUGE wait of what I guessed would be at least a couple of hours. This was always going to happen as this first shuttle bus JUST took people the 10min trip back to the Phillip Island Race Track where people could then get picked up by car or cars were parked or another couple of shuttle buses took people to San Remo or Cowes. Taxi's were also there too.
So in my thongs I drunkenly scaled the 8-foot fence and fell over it landing reasonably well.
I then headed out to the road via the shuttle bus driveway. I'd escaped!
After hitting Pyramid Rock Road I heard the scuffing of footsteps behind me and after chasing me for a few hundred metres an old bloke who looked like Cliff Young caught up to me and told me that you couldn't walk on the road, it wasn't allowed. I gave him a speal about how it was a public road and that I'd just been spearfishing down pyramid rock and that they can't shut the road without permission from VicRoads, Council AND the Police and they must have a TMP (Traffic Managment Plan), I tried to act like I knew what I was talking about with a touch of a slur.
Anyway he left me alone just saying, well if your gunna walk along here AT LEAST walk on the right so that your walking into the oncoming traffic! Hahaha I WIN!
Cliff Young turns and leaves me to my own devices...

I decided to ring my new best friend. Anthony James Peacock-The 1st!
I chat to anything for a bit before I hear a moped scooter chasing me down, by now I've walked 700-800metres and have passed the camping exit which is on the other side of the high fence again.

I tell TKA I have to go and get hassled by another fluoro yellow vest security guard. Who again I express my rights to, to walk along a public road. He leaves, I WIN!

I ring up TKA again, and keep walking, after a few more hundred metres, just at the base of the only hill on the road, a Shuttle bus stops. and another Fluoro clad security guard asks me to hop on board. I express my terms, that I'll only hop on board if they drop me off at the end of Pyramid Rock road and not take me back to the Race Track. They agree and I climb on board.
I have realised by this stage, and had expressed to TKA that I stink, in more ways than one, I literally smell like shit! And mixed with bad BO from the 40+ temp and a heap of beer consumed I must smell a treat!

So on my short bus trip I keep my head looking straight ahead as I sway drunkenly in the bus, the nice female fluro lady offers me a seat, I decline. I hear quite a few voices from behind me start to ridicule me and say things like 'oh great, we've picked up a stinky!' 'yes, definitely a stinky!' completely humiliated already, I consider threatening them with sitting on them or next to them. But conceded in my situation I keep my eyes forward and pray for my stop to come.
Before too long, the bus drops me off.

I cross the road and continue my Northbound trip UP Pyramid Rock Road heading for Cowes.
I ring TKA again and talk to him for probably another 30mins or so.
Eventually I decide, he must want to sleep, so I let him go.
About this time, or maybe while I was speaking to TKA, I realise while constantly pulling up my 'Too Large' shorts (cause I've lost weight) that I have no jocks, presumably I ditched them while taking a dump or perhaps used them as toilet paper, I can't remember.
I then ring my other Cot Fellows, Timmy and Tossbag. I think I may have TXT'd Tosser, and left Timmy a long funny (I hope) voicemail message. I remember passing by the two Phillip Island sewage trucks as I rang timmy, so I had a gauge of how far I had to go.

I continue on my way, with bad chaff. stumbling ever forward, one foot after the other, proud of the late night training in thongs. My thongs slip either way and constantly I cop stones directly to my feet.
Eventually I cross my last crossroads and it takes me until I'm halfway across before I realize I should check for cars.
I continue on the final leg of my home run until I reach another bitumen road where the OPEN driveable part of Pyramid Rock road ends and it turns to a 4x4 or walking track. In the dark (only just by now approx 5am) I decide to box around and turn left to go a safer way.

700m then right back in my Northbound direction. I rang Luke to see where he was at. In a Shuttle queue! haha Sucker!

Having been thirsty since the start of my trek I eventually find a house with a front tap as it turns 'suburban' as I came out of the front yard I cut across another lawn and suddenly realized that 'talking' stopped. I carefully glanced sideways and detected whispers. 6-8 blokes still drinking on a balcony, on a rough looking house with Kingswoods etc. parked out the front.
I looked straight ahead and fought thru the chaff to increase my pace.
eventually putting enough ground behind me to feel safe again. After 800m my next right appeared!

The home stretch. 700m to the caravan park entrance! Woo Hoo. Almost there.
I pass several parties that are just finishing up, quite a few out side the front of houses and holiday flats. I heard a lot of comments and in better condition would have considered stopping.
'God I need a F#ck', 'F#ck I'm sooo horny' I think I even saw a guy getting a HJ. Of the parties I passed they were mainly <30yo.

Eventually I entered the SeaView caravan park and found my way to my caravan, where, as quietly as I drunken could I opened the van door and slid my arm inside the first cupboard where my shower kit should have been. It wasn't. So I fumbled drunkenly and noisely until the Mrs Arc'd up. 'WTF You Stink!, Get the Out!, go and sleep in the tent!'
'I just want my shower kit' I defended
Anyway it continued until I raised my voice and woke the kids, finally I resorted to another cupboard where I knew a few pieces of soap would be. I grabbed one and left, grabbing a towel from the clothesline outside on the way.

30mins or so later, I returned, clean as! With my clothes washed and all put into a plastic bag.
I tried to climb into bed but was told to 'Get Out'!
So I climbed in anyway and the Mrs got up, and prepared to leave.
Luke arrived home around the same time and rang to see where I was. Kylie answered and he walked the 30metres to come and talk her out of going home!
It was no use, she'd decided, she'd had enough, who could blame her, she was sober and it was 30-degrees in a caravan where she'd struggled to get the kids to sleep and keep them there, until some drunken a$$ came home!

I fell asleep approx 5:30-6pm. getting up around 9am with the kids. Then going back to sleep until around 11am as the kids ran free and Kylie's dad and GF looked after them Toni 'The Legend' too.

In the end, not too hung over, and one of the best NYE stories ever. I had a good night, just drunk a bit too much. I spent the rest of the day feeling queezy and packing up to go home. The kids had about 3 swims in the pool.

Sorry this is so long but I had to tell it in it's entirety to explain the full story!