T(fuckup)E

Ok.
It has often been said that T(e) is a fuckup so I thought I would lay it all on the line and gauge how much of a fuckup I really am. I would like to present to you my top 5 fuckups of all time. Please note the criteria for fuckups includes time impact on your life, emotional distress, and financial impact. These three details will be outlined after each fuckup, with emotional distress averaged out over the period of the fuckup, with 0 being the least to 10 being suicidal.

5. In Primary school, kicking away the crutches of a really annoying girl because I thought she was “faking” her injury.

1 week, emo 3, $ 0.

4. Being a sissy to my CoT brothers about posts being “deleted” and causing havoc on the Blog site with a shitty Barbie pink colour scheme.

1 week, emo 4, $ 40.00 (In wasted work time)

3. Spending year 12 at school doing the minium amount of subjects possible, and spending all my spare time playing cards and B-ball even though I am short arse. Resulted in me barely passing year 12 with one subject being “religious studies” , which counts for shit. Spent 3 years in mud and dirt on a rose farm in Monbulk working for a Clog wog who paid me $156 a week, before I woke up to myself and realised there must be more to life than this.

3.5 years, emo 6, $60K. (considering what I could have earnt).

2. Spending 4 years at Uni doing a double degree, and realising that I hated teaching but doing nothing about it. And to top that, spending 2 years teaching just to “give it a go because I might like it in the end” only to realise that, no, teaching is shit.

6 years, emo 6, 20K (HECS, but $28 an hour isn’t bad for relief work).

1. Falling for a stupid twat of a female, who never really liked me that much, but I was too blind to see it at the time even though Gunsle could. Resulted in me changing jobs, buying a house, and not being as close to my CoT brethren. Hanging on to Homer Simpsons theory of “Crisistunity”.

3 months and counting…., emo 8, $230K.

If any of you can top this I would be surprised, for I am t9e0man, Lord of the Fuckups. Thankyou George Costansa.