No Posts for a while, C'mon CoT!!!

Joke of the Day...

A New Orleans Building Proposal.....

Monster's new phone

Monster is in the market for a new phone. I thought I would give him a hand. Below are Monster's requirements:

1. Phone must be bullet proof to the point of being able to be used to hurl at CoT members when pissed off.
2. Must be available on Ebay, so Monster in his tight arseness can get a good price or even a freeby.
3. Is not a 3 phone, cause he doesn't really love his other CoT brothers.
4. Must be retro to fit "Image"

Here are pics of my suggestions:

Finally!! Le Tour/Santini Bib Knicks have landed.

I've just got news that the Le Tour/Santini Bib Knicks have landed in Australia, they should be in the shop within a few days. Not sure of price yet but I'll keep you up-to-date.

Reasons why TheKillerAnt has been copping it lately...

I was going to do a post that bags all you fellow coters but then i decided to change my tune and tell you how i really appreciate each of you.
F*CK THAT!
Your all c*nts
I've been copping it all week and now its time for revenge!!! :)
I'm back racing (sunday) and will be strong as ever in no time.
I cant wait to go for a le tour ride and smash it up against monster up the 1/20, test out my form and see if i can hurt him, even if it only lasts 5kms i cant wait to get back into the mix!
Friday night poem...
I am the Killer ANT!
I'm well known for my killer rant.
Andy's been giving me shit all day long
Now its time to lay it on the line and smack him with my schlong (wtf?)
I know im a sh!t bike mechanic and a slow learner
But compared to monster im a better head turner!!
Its nearly time to go home and drink some wine
and lay down some preperation for B grades decline
on sunday @ philip island ill be back with a number on my back
if i feel half decent i might even attack
but lets be realisitic, im gonna get smashed!!
but at least andys not racing so there will be no crash
the blogs getting popular, its getting a few hits
we are all so proud and yes Des gives us the sh!ts
thats about it my friends im running out of flow
tim clarke on a climb is really quite slow
one love:)
ps. im not sure why i chose dave zabriski as a pic but at least it makes my post look beta :)

Proof of Gunsle's tiny brain...

WANTED!!

Have you seen this man? He goes by many a disguise

The new frontier - 'The Gimp'

Le Tour is looking to upgrade it's resident Gimp with a new model a GIMP-9000 or more simply known as 'TheKillerAnt'

Or check what sort of day our current gimp Michael is having on 'The-Gimp-O-Scale'

Cot Blog or Just Thick Fog??

Essence of Monster

Come and drink the new taste sensation, for that pleasant but slightly retro flavour. For all your Friggen "Bang!" needs.

Now with extra vitamin tightarsium.

*Can leave a slightly bitter aftertaste if slapped.

Killer Ants new bike

All things considered and after reading the posts below I thought I would bale out my CoT buddy Ant. I have read all of Gunsles suggestions as far as his one eyed Specialized beating off goes and I think I have found a happy medium between what Ant wants and what Gunsle wants him to have. My selection process included such variables as:

1. Ants interest in "Exotic" frames.
2. Ants current lack of excitment in the pants these days.
3. His one-upmanship competitiveness with Steve.
4. His hill climbing ability ego.

After hours of research I feel the bikes I found below would be the most suitable for Killer.

As you can see from the above if Killer actually rode these bikes then:

1. The frames are quite "exotic", I mean what is more exotic than "erotic" or a "hard blow"?

2. If Ant has anything to do with an erotic or hard blow frame he would have no more pant excitiment issues, and would probably be itching to get on the bike everyday.

3. The frames cost is quite "economical" and he would easily be able to spend less than Steve on bikes.

4. If Ant can kick peoples butts uphill riding on these than he truely is a climbing 'god'.

I rest my case.

New Le Tour Honda Odyssey

How cool is ChanMan's new Honda!! The new Le Tour work car in typical RiceBoy Style!

Gunsle publicly apologizes to Monster

Gunsle would like to apologize for comments relating to Monsters overall height in terms of strands of integrity. Or some BS like that. I can't remember exactly.

These comments had no basis and were pure CoT Banter. Poor Monster must have given them some thought, which was already more than Gunsle had given them since he meant nothing by them.

I sincerely apologize for any heart ache caused.

Also for the record TheKillerAnt is NOT buying the 56cm Specialized Tarmac SL that was on show @ Le Tour yesterday with 172.5mm Carbon FACT Cranks. Which are claimed to be 25% Lighter than Dura-Ace and 20% Stiffer.
KillerAnt would not buy this frame for the following reasons.

1. Cause he's truly a tight ass. By definition of a tight ass I mean somebody that stretches themselves to buy something and then is to scared to use it properly for fear of marking or damaging it. Going off this definition of
   'Tight-Ass' Monster would be cleared of any tightassness since he has been proven to have bought top end items such as a COUPLE of Avanti Team Corsa bikes and then proceeded to crash the hell out of them whilst racing or training. TheKillerAnt wherefore has purchased expensive items such as Zipp 303 Carbon Fibre racing wheels and then never actually used them, purely kept them for bedroom photoshoots and other 'Desmond like' uses.
2. Because he loves his Ghey Orange Orbea so much and he somewhat foolishly believes it to be the lightest fastest bike in the world. Besides torsional & BB stiffness is nothing. Vertical Compliance is EVERYTHING!
   
3. Because if he did actually realise his potential on a bike perhaps he would realise he could benefit from such a 1337 bike but alas he does not.
   
4. The Specialized Tarmac SL is a complete package. It would not be practical as a bike to ride ONLY up mountains. Driving in between such climbs in your car would seem to be a waste.
5. Also not being Le Tours No.1 Rider he does not qualify to buy it. Money can't buy everything, Le Tour has pride and wouldn't support TheKillerAnts 'Desmond Like' buying patterns of buying bikes just to look @.
   

Gunsle

More Old Websites

Blackburn Cycling Club old website
Le Tour Cycles old website
Trent Lowe's website

More website that I was involved with or designed.

Gunsle

Confirmation of Influgunsle....

See, look at the poor bugger...
One minute he is up and about....

The next he is on his death bed wanting to die...

Actually I think all that is going on here is that he is really up at Eden somewhere with his family but he didn't want CoT members to know or anyone connected to Le Tour Cycles. He is doing a mighty fine job of it though....
He is probably riding that new Specialized bike as we speak!

Bikeway.com.au

Bikeway.com.au website
old Bikeway.com.au website
Here's what we've been talking about.
Gunsle

Gunsle Struck Down with 'The Real Flu'

Well after a week or so of feeling average.
Gunsle has been smacked down by the flu, not just a head cold but something he hadn't experienced before. The full influenza .

Symptoms of Influenza

The most characteristic symptoms of influenza are weakness (Hell yes), fatigue (Fuck yeah!!), muscle aches (Yeppers), headaches (Constantly), fever (101 to 102 degrees) (Well actually 103 (39.5C)), sneezing (Uh hah), and maybe a runny nose (What about completely blocked sinuses?). Although a person with influenza feels very sick (No shit sherlock), it rarely leads to more serious complications (Apart from near death), except for those at greater risk.

Tuesday - No Work. Sick but not too bad
Wednesday - Full day in bed
Thursday - Wanted to die
Friday - No strength but still headache etc.

Worst thing is, it comes and goes. Your on your death bed one moment then a few hours later your up and about. It makes you feel worse being bed ridden too. Head down all the time. It's a fucker. Makes ur head thump etc. It's better being upright when u can.

Gunslenza

TheKillerAnt Vs Stevie Martin

Just thought that would be a good title...

Steve has ignored 4 texts today, 4! How tight is he...i bet he irons his money, cleans his coins...tighty arse steve martin
Andy, sick today, i turn up for work and have to battle desmond 1 on 1 with no help, thanks alot :)
Timmy, how the legs today? thanks for the company yesterday, good route etc. Enjoyed it.
Ant, ur back i hear, good 2 hear, and u did your weights today and all, great news!

Luv u's (little bored, no tiny little brain to give sh!t to)

TheKillerAnt.

Steve Martin wins A grade combine at Casey Fields

Sunday 4 June 2006 at 10:45am was the start time for the A grade combine race (1 hour + 2 laps). Steve was house sitting this weekend near the beach in Frankston with his family and drove to the race and did about a 5km warmup. A small bunch took to the start line (possibly due to the late change of venue from Yarra Glen to Cranbourne for this weekend's combine race). There were plenty of attacks during the race, mainly by Steve Martin (Le Tour Cycles) and Jamie Goddard (Le Tour Cycles), but the time trialling efforts of Julian Dutton on the front of the bunch made sure that things kept coming back together. Man this guy (Dutton) is strong. I reckon he did half of the race on the front of the A grade bunch. (Julian finished 3rd overall in this years Bay Series Support Crits.)

The decisive moment happened at around the 50 minute mark when there were only 8 riders left. Jamie (Le Tour Cycles) started an attack but the group instantly reacted. Wevans (Le Tour Cycles) counter-attacked but it was instantly covered also. Cam Winton then gave it a shot and quickly opened up a gap of around 30 metres into the headwind on the back straight. Steve leapt from the bunch on the uphill section and quicky joined Winton, calling out "Get on" as he rode straight past him. Steve did a fair turn to let Winton recover and their gap back to the bunch opened considerably (over 100 metres).

After the next lap they got the "2 to go" and Steve gave a confident salute to the numbers boy (John Nicholson) to acknowledge he was aware of lap count. Julian Dutton started a desperate chase, dropping everyone but Jamie and one other guy. They struggled to even hold his wheel as he towed them closer and closer to Steve and Cam, who were still working very well together out front. At the second last corner the chasers were only about 20 metres behind the 2 leaders, so Steve went frigin BANG!! up the final rise and rounded the final corner about 40 metres clear. Steve spotted his son (14 month old Joel Martin) in the crowd and had plenty of time for his victory salute. Steve sat up, pointed to Joel, and blew him a kiss.

Steve was motivated to win this race:
1. For his son Joel
2. To write something on the CoT blog
3. For his sponsor "Le Tour Cycles" (since Steve Martin is their number 1 rider)

Goddard (Le Tour Cycles) just caught Cam Winton before the line, giving Le Tour Cycles 1st and 2nd across the line.

A Grade Combine Results (at Casey Fields):
1st Steve Martin
2nd Jamie Goddard
3rd Cam Winton
4th Julian Dutton

*This Post has been tidied up by Blog Cleaner Gunsle.

Karl 10Menzies 2nd in the CSC Invitational!

Big Karl 10Menzies is in good form, finished 2nd in the inaugral CSC Invitational.






The final kick. Geez he's a big boy!





Also a photo of Rich E who was said to have ridden strongly all day.
















Team Mate and Team Leader Brent Brookwalter comes down a beauty!

Monster wins A-grade crit...Doesn't reply to 25c congratulatory SMS!!

Well good morning my fellow CoT members, TheKillerAnt wishes you all the best for the new week. Hopefully this week no cars will be stolen (andy), no cash registers will be left open (me), another A-grade race will be won (monster) and T9e0 will have some more time up in beautiful bright.

Lets just get one thing established now...

I want to try and find a counter that we can update whenever Stevie doesn't reply to a 25c sms. Stevie is a real wanker! He should just drop everything instantly when an sms is sent to him and reply instantly. Stevie should let his life be dictated to him by his mobile phone. It should never leave his side and he should always reply to every sms he ever receives from everyone. If he doesn't reply to every single sms that everyone sends him then that makes him a real tight ass. I hate people who don't reply to every sms that is sent to them. That is just plain rude. I was thinking we could have a "MONSTER TIGHT ARSE COUNTER UPDATE" section on the blog? ur thoughts...

In other news, after my grade one tear of my hamstring tendon back in early april im pleased to announce that im back, my new weights and SE program will kick off this week with racing starting for me in the next 2-3 weeks :)

Luv u's all (not ghey)

The NEW Le Tour Cycles

Here's some photo's of the NEW Le Tour Cycles.
It will be @ 76-82 Maroondah Hwy Ringwood.
In the old Hi-Fi Supermarket Shop, which is currently being divided up into 3 shops. We will be moving into the rear shop next to Flooringworld (See Pictures.)

Here's an Artists Impression of how the shop will look.

View looking @ Toilet Block(R/H Door) & Kitchen (L/H Door), The workshop will be placed infront of this area.

Which bike is better? Team Corsa Carbonio 2003 or Team Alex C1 2005?

I have both of these and aren't sure which is better. C1 is full carbon. Avanti is 200g lighter. I think I'll sell one and keep one.

CoT Blog posts of all time

From 15 April 2006 - Present (2 June 2006) the totals are as follows:

Gunsle - 34
Timmy - 12
Monster - 8
Ant - 2

56 posts total.

2 posts is not really much of an effort.

CoT Blog Posts Count

Since the 10/5 the counts is including this post

Gunsle - 17
t(e) - 5
Monster - 3
TheKillerAnt - 1

Gunsle

The Ultimate Monster Sandbagging Specialized.....

After much deliberation, I've worked out the Ultimate bike for Monster.

Given the list of requirements I took all these in to consideration when working out the bike to best suit Monsters needs.

• Stiff for Out Sprinting friends @ Pedestrian Crossings on short irregular training rides when it's not raining
  
• Light for Climbing up the 1/20 where you want to smash your mates.
  
• Responsive handling for Crit Racing
• Compliance for sitting on the back all day absorbing all the pot holes that haven't been pointed out by cunt$ up ahead who are shitty with you for sitting on all day not taking a turn.
• Perfect Body Geometrical Size for Monster
  
• Cheap for a Tighta$$ fucker.
• Customized asthetics for grade sharking, obviously this is very important when asking for B grade, you don't want them to see you on a bike that turns too many heads or they'll think you belong in a higher grade.
• Available on eBay as that's the only place Monster ever buys things from these days. Yes he's adickhead. I mean addicted.

So I decided on this Shogun Ninja Road bike.

Shogun Ninja Road Bike. 56cm Frame. Full 16 speed Shimano RSX gears, Shimano RSX brakes, Ridgida Wheels, Shimano RSX STI leavers, VP clipless pedals, San Marco non slip saddle. This bike was purchased new for $1200.

As you can see from the photo this bike is in as new condtion. It would not have be ridden more than 500km. It has been garaged its entire life.

This bike also comes with a rear tail light, Sigma Sport BC 800 cycle computer, two drink bottle stands, and a San marco tube carry bag.

If you have any questions please dont hesitate to ask.

Thanks,

Conrad

Excellent condtion

I honestly belive this bike to be perfect for Monster, my reasons for this are as follows.

1. Price, always his No.1 consideration, this bike is well priced @ $400 should fit within his Tighta$$ budget. Also and almost more importantly it Cost $1200 so Monster will enjoy the fact that some poor fucker has lost $800 on this bike and he's getting an ABSOLUTE Bargain. He's not happy unless someone else is losing out. Make him feel better.
   
2. It's on eBay, Monster doesn't buy from anywhere else.
3. It's a racing bike that is UCI Legal
4. Has a Steel Frame which will be very compliant when he's sitting on the back coping those Pot Holes.
   
5. Asthetically it suits his sandbagging/grade sharking needs.
   
6. It's done less than 500km, like monster it's not likely to clock up many Kms.
   
7. Being Steel it should be stiff enough for those crossing sprints.
8. Light, um well yeah it's cheap that's important.
9. Responsive, um it has um Fork Trail. I don't know the Head Tube angle or Fork Rake but um it was cheap.
10. It's a 56cm so should be near enough for Monster

So yeah basically the Ultimate bike for monster.

Bid Away Lad...

Gunsle.

This reminds me of the start of the Macedon Ranges Teams Classic

Hey guys, have a read of this diary.

Ant, you honestly can learn a lot from this article by reading it carefully. I say this to you Ant coz you have less racing experience than the rest of the CoT.

I found the first 11 paragraphs very accurately describes what it is like to ride in a massive bunch on narrow roads into cross winds (just like the Macedon Ranges Teams Race). He also talkes about how the starts are very dangerous coz everyone wants to be at the front and how riders ride 1 inch from the edge of the road. (Rob R probably lacked the experience/hard-man/psycho attitude needed to survive the first 10kms of a crazy start, much like the start of a Bay Series Crit.). This racing in the Netherlands sounds pretty full on, I reckon it would be cool fun (but for hard men only). I reckon a fit Steeley would love it.

"I have developed some good tactics to make it to the finish. One is screaming abuse, this often stops crazy Dutchman from doing something stupid in front of you. Another is to get angry and very aggressive in how you ride, letting no-one push you around. It's like when you go to jail, you should find the biggest baddest guy and knock his arse out."

http://www.cyclingnews.com/riders/2006/diaries/dflcn/?id=jeremy0601

INEXA The Great Mystery

Ok here's some points on the INEXA.

Here is their Geometry Chart From their website.
Facts

• These geometries provided are at the very least VAGUE! They provided no head angle, seat angle, front centre, rear centre, fork rake and certainly no trail.
  
• They are also Untrue, the top tube measurements stated are incorrect. What the hell is B & C? They appear to be the same? But the measurements are different. 1 can only assume that one is Actual Top Tube Length and that the other is Virtual Top Tube Length, if this is the case the longer of the two measurements should be the Virtual Top Tube Length because it deviates from the true line of the top tube, this deviation of course makes the length longer. The REAL Virtual Top Tube Measurement of the XL is only 58cm a far cry from the 60cm they state. The M's REAL Virtual Top Tube Length is only 53.5cm.
  
• Monster rides a L for argument sake.
  
• Ricky Peoples Fell on the last corner in A Grade @ Glenvale crescent last December, after the fall it was found that his fork had snapped of with a clean break @ the top of the Alloy shim. Did the fork break first or because of the fall?
• A friend of the WA Sales representative was out on a ride with his buddy, the Rep, and his Fork Snapped off clean whilst riding along a flat road. It was found to have snapped CLEAN off @ the top of the fork crowns Alloy Shim,
• Hence INEXA put out a voluntary recall of all their forks on the C1 Bikes.
  
• This secret recall was so well advertised that they only informed you if you first asked about it.
• Then a customer who hadn't heard about the SECRET RECALL was riding in the 'Great Tasmanian Bike Ride' and when crossing some train tracks in Launceston when her forks suddenly snapped, funnily enough, clean break, on the steerer @ top of the alloy crown shim.
  
• So you tell me, did Ricky Peoples fork break as a result of the accident or did it break and cause the accident? You decide.
  

Timmy's Body Geometry Bike Fit...

Fuck you Timmy, I don't wanna charge you shit. I'll work on a referral process. It'll be good practice anyway.
I'll be better equipped once we get the new shop. But I can do it now.

Bring both bikes in some time.
Some points to make.

• Both bike ARE completely different, ie different materials and different geometry so you can only do as much to set them up similar, they'll still handle and feel different no matter how much you do.
• Umm hang on I think there was more points.
• Your Specialized frame has a 73.5degree seat tube and head tube with a 40mm Raked fork. This will handle dramatically different to a Colnago which for a similar size has a 73degree seat tube but a 72.13degree head tube with a 43mm raked fork.
• This means the trail of each bike is a world apart. Put these figures into a TRAIL Calculator.
• http://www.kreuzotter.de/english/elenk.htm
• The head angle is first 72.13 for the Colnago and 73.5 for the Specialized
• Then the wheel diameter 67.8cm (typical for most 23c road tyres.)
• Then the fork rake 4.3cm for the Colnago and 4.0cm for the Specialized.
• The Colnago has a Trail of 6.4cm the Specialized has a trail of 5.9
• These figures basically give you a true reading of the stability and responsiveness of each bike.
• The lower the figure the more twitchy & responsive a bike is.
• The higher the figure the less responsive and more relaxed a bike is.

That is why I think a Specialized Roubaix bike would be Puuurrrrffeeect for you.

Your Colnago has a long wheel base as it is designed as a bike to be good over long distances and rougher roads. The downside of this is the sluggish and relaxed steering. Which makes it less versatile for shorter racing with more corners etc. i.e. Crits.

Where as the Specialized Roubaix is a world apart from it's brother the Allez. It has a wheel base of 1010mm (5mm longer than the LONG Colnago. ) and 27mm longer than the Specialized Allez you currently ride.

BUT!!! And here's the biggy. The specialized has a 72.5degree head tube, similar to the colnago, but has the new custom made 49mm Rake forks that Specialized make themselves. In the past forks have only been available in 40,43 & 45mm, limiting the head tube and handling of frames.

So the Specialized Roubaix still pulls out a Trail figure of 56mm meaning it will handle as well as any bike (my tarmac is also 56mm trail) around corners but still be long and compliant over the longer rides and rougher roads.

So here is a bike that can be raced in crits and can be competitive, is light (lighter than my Tarmac), still extremely stiff in the BB and Torsionally stiff so that it corners well, but being a long wheel base and carbon will be super comfy and compliant on long rides and rough roads.
In a 56cm this frame weighs only 1065grams (1455gram including fork!!)

This frame is also the only frame in the Specialized Range that Shares the super expensive E390 Carbon that is also used exclusively on the Specialized Tarmac SL. For interest sakes my Tarmac uses the cheaper E294 Carbon and most carbon manufacturers generally use the cheaper again E240 carbon(Also known as T700 carbon which is the widest used carbon in the bicycle industry.).

The roubaix also features the Zertz dampening in the fork, handlebar and seat tubes. Making it their best combination of compliance, weight and stiffness. Over 50% of the Gerolsteiner Team ride the Roubaix, MORE than ride the SuperLight Tarmac SL.

Also the roubaix has an extended head tube so that handlebar can be a little higher without the need of a stack of spacers.

Gunsle-Doesn't like to hard sell but thinks Timmy is a major candidate for a bike more suited to his needs.

Da Kasierbikes, Da spunky yikes!!

The Big man Jan Ullrich now has his own line of bikes for sale. They are available as frame sets only, and I reckon are pretty damn sexy!! I alway think the Euro's know their style better than the yanks. Here are two of the better models:

Da Spiffy "Olymp" Und Da Sexyer "Grand Tour"

Da Granda Tour ist Da reported at ist 5.89 kg und will make dat difficultun to riden in da UCI cycleishtan racenspline. Und eina minutten, eina minutten.... Das ist notten ine boobies!!!!

T(e)einflienkensplein..