T(fuckup)E

Ok.
It has often been said that T(e) is a fuckup so I thought I would lay it all on the line and gauge how much of a fuckup I really am. I would like to present to you my top 5 fuckups of all time. Please note the criteria for fuckups includes time impact on your life, emotional distress, and financial impact. These three details will be outlined after each fuckup, with emotional distress averaged out over the period of the fuckup, with 0 being the least to 10 being suicidal.

5. In Primary school, kicking away the crutches of a really annoying girl because I thought she was “faking” her injury.

1 week, emo 3, $ 0.

4. Being a sissy to my CoT brothers about posts being “deleted” and causing havoc on the Blog site with a shitty Barbie pink colour scheme.

1 week, emo 4, $ 40.00 (In wasted work time)

3. Spending year 12 at school doing the minium amount of subjects possible, and spending all my spare time playing cards and B-ball even though I am short arse. Resulted in me barely passing year 12 with one subject being “religious studies” , which counts for shit. Spent 3 years in mud and dirt on a rose farm in Monbulk working for a Clog wog who paid me $156 a week, before I woke up to myself and realised there must be more to life than this.

3.5 years, emo 6, $60K. (considering what I could have earnt).

2. Spending 4 years at Uni doing a double degree, and realising that I hated teaching but doing nothing about it. And to top that, spending 2 years teaching just to “give it a go because I might like it in the end” only to realise that, no, teaching is shit.

6 years, emo 6, 20K (HECS, but $28 an hour isn’t bad for relief work).

1. Falling for a stupid twat of a female, who never really liked me that much, but I was too blind to see it at the time even though Gunsle could. Resulted in me changing jobs, buying a house, and not being as close to my CoT brethren. Hanging on to Homer Simpsons theory of “Crisistunity”.

3 months and counting…., emo 8, $230K.

If any of you can top this I would be surprised, for I am t9e0man, Lord of the Fuckups. Thankyou George Costansa.

The Regular Thurs Ride...

Well I went on the now regular thursday ride this morning with the 3-wise monkeys, Secret Coach, Imbecile and Ben.
Awesome morning, a little chilly to start with but that soon dissapeared to a beautiful clear day.

Thanks Ben for providing me some pacing and much needed encouragement and company on the massive climb up the 1/20. I really appreciated it. And remember next time you look down and see TKA on his ass after falling of his bike, I'm prolly the reason.

Secret Coach came off with the Sprint win @ montrose. Prick sat on for the 2nd week in a row.

It was overall an awesome ride, as every ride I do now seems to be, I think that's prolly cause I haven't been riding so I appreciate everytime. Perhaps a good thing to give me some new spark.

It was good to see Monster out, oh no that's right that unsocial cunt wasn't there. Too early, too cold, too hard. Soft man.
Funny cause Monster always encourages me to ride, but would never go as far as ACTUALLY riding with me as a form of encouragement. Total Prick.

Vote here for your opinion on the unsocial Monster...

T(e) your excused, we don't like rednecks.

Gunsle

We seem to have a new CoT member

Who has links to Man of Illusion???

What is this all about?? Can TKA be loyal to two Blogs at the same time?

Remember this one?? It sort of vanished but now is back..

The Strange Dream (complete with random pix)
This is what i can remember of my dream last night, and i think its seriously funny, weird and if i think heaps about it then possibly disturbing!! THE SETTING...

My dream started with me suddenly sitting in a crowded, medium sized room. I had maybe 30 random people around me, nearly all were standing and talking, like at a house party or dinner party before dinner gets underway. I was sitting on a couch in a lounge-room holding a glass of wine.

THINGS GET WIERD HERE...

I opened my mouth to speak to the person sitting next to me (which i cannot remember the details of, male/female, age etc.) and i started speaking in a really loud, obnoxious scottish accent. Suddenly i had 30 faces staring at me and one of them said "your not scottish, knock it off" and despite my best efforts i could not stop talking with the accent. It was really giving me the sh!ts, i think for the next minute or two i kept replying to peoples questions and i got increasingly frustrated with my ridiculous accent. Its not that it was embarrasing, it was just weird not being able to control my own voice!!
And then the dream ended and i woke up thinking 'now thats some weird shit!!)
Thats it.

Ant (out)
disclaimer: For some general trivia knowledge for you all, several months ago i took my 21 year old honda civic for a high speed run to see what the cars top speed on a flat road is. I found the flat road and just pinned the throttle until it maxed at a fraction over 170km/h in fifth. The road was dead flat (wind unsure) and the needle was hovering on 170 and just above for roughly 1 minute! No BS, i will swear this on a bible. The Civic can still vibrate and shake its way up to 170km/h on a flat rd!! I was scared.

*I had a copy but lost the pics, but I think I captured the idea.. T.

Busted!!! Well here it is, 'The Glitch'

I've apprehended the guilty party. Here's the first groundbreaking images of 'The Glitch...'

Gunsle

Well here it is, the infamous Magpie Post......Who dunnit???

Tell you what, riding in the city you have to put up with dickhead motorist, but in the northeast you have to put up with dickhead magpies! (Unless near the “G” then it’s motorists and Collingwood supporters). I had a first on Saturday where I was “double teamed” by two magpies. One flew in and smacked me in the head, with the other about 5 seconds behind…. Buggers. I am kinda used to riding for 15 mins, smack, 15mins, smack “Fuckoff”, 15 min, smack “For the love of…” Do they have magpie guns that can sit in your jersey pocket like those quick inflate thingis?? Get onto it Zefal!!
I raced with Albury/Wodonga Cycling club on the weekend and got put in B grade (finally!) instead of being spat by A grade again. Fitness is coming but I’m no A grader. Yet. Had about 20 riders, 66kms out and back course with no idea of where to go or where the finish line was. Racing was pretty good with a big absence of dickheads which refreshing. I stayed up near the front most of the time swapping turns, getting some good training in for clubbies next weekend. With around 10k to go I attacked on a small climb and got a good gap…. Only to be dive-bombed by a bloody magpie! Stayed away for around 5 k’s before being caught by the sprinters. Sat in for a bit, then everyone started speeding up.. WTF???? Ah the finish line.. Dammit!! Turns out the finish line was about 5 k back from where we started from, at a gun club ironically enough.. (sprint, sprint, sprint BANG zing, WTF was that??)
Oh well at least I will know next time.
C U @ Clubbies.
Tell you what, riding in the city you have to put up with dickhead motorist, but in the northeast you have to put up with dickhead magpies! (Unless near the “G” then it’s motorists and Collingwood supporters). I had a first on Saturday where I was “double teamed” by two magpies. One flew in and smacked me in the head, with the other about 5 seconds behind…. Buggers. I am kinda used to riding for 15 mins, smack, 15mins, smack “Fuckoff”, 15 min, smack “For the love of…” Do they have magpie guns that can sit in your jersey pocket like those quick inflate thingis?? Get onto it Zefal!!
I raced with Albury/Wodonga Cycling club on the weekend and got put in B grade (finally!) instead of being spat by A grade again. Fitness is coming but I’m no A grader. Yet. Had about 20 riders, 66kms out and back course with no idea of where to go or where the finish line was. Racing was pretty good with a big absence of dickheads which refreshing. I stayed up near the front most of the time swapping turns, getting some good training in for clubbies next weekend. With around 10k to go I attacked on a small climb and got a good gap…. Only to be dive-bombed by a bloody magpie! Stayed away for around 5 k’s before being caught by the sprinters. Sat in for a bit, then everyone started speeding up.. WTF???? Ah the finish line.. Dammit!! Turns out the finish line was about 5 k back from where we started from, at a gun club ironically enough.. (sprint, sprint, sprint BANG zing, WTF was that??)
Oh well at least I will know next time.
C U @ Clubbies.

Ok now I'm the only Administrator of CoT Blog

What is a CoT blog administrator?

A CoT blog administrator has access to the blog's Settings and Templates, as well as the ability to edit/delete posts made by other members of the blog. (like some Cunt did to T9e0's post on Magpies, and Monsters lovely Poem Post.)(But not like me deleting my own post, that will still be allowed.)

Making a team member "admin" is very easy- just click the appropriate checkbox in the Admin column:

CoT Blog under LOCK-DOWN!!!

Due to some Fuck deleting posts, changing the color of the Blog and losing all our comments, links & poem's.

The CoT Blog is now in a LOCK-DOWN!!!

All Administrative rights of Bloggers have been removed and Gunsle is in control.

I thought you guys could be trusted but obviously NOT!

It will remain this way until the perpertrator/s are caught.

Le Gunsle
Le Fuck Off

NEWS FLASH!!! T9e0's Mates.....

News Flash!

Five rednecks drowned in Lake Eildon last week.

They were trying to dig a basement in the bottom of their houseboat.
___________________________________________________

Q: How can a redneck girl tell when her mother has her period?

A: Her brothers dick tastes funny
___________________________________________________

You might be a redneck if...

Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
___________________________________________________

You might be a redneck if...

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

Ahh its spring :) and the lovely's are out!!

BIKES AND CHICKS!! :)



Check out these pix that my good mate (ji) emailed me!! He was out on a training ride near where we live and decided to take some snaps, very nice work (ji) i apoint u an honorary CoT member!!

(this entitles u to comment and bag the sh!t out of monster, calling him a tighy a*se at every opportunity like the rest of us)

And then i decided that the lovely Erin McNaught (our Miss Universe chick for 2006) should be shared with the CoT and its loyal readers also...she's lovely aye!!















Peace all, happy training, (gunsle see how i logged myself in before i posted!!!, lol, u big dumb b4stard!!)

TheKillerAnt

TheBikeAuctionGuy eBay Update #3

Well it would seem my comments have upset another possible bidder.

Q: So you own a Specialized S-Works Roubaix SL, BIG F n DEAL!!! I bet the learsport is your old bike. There is nothing wrong with a learsport, as for your statement of being the bottom of the food chain to be interested in a learsport. That will really help sell it, you must be a really good auction broker LOL !!!! Why would a beginner spend 6+k on a crappy sworks???? COME DOWN TO EARTH \, SPACE MAN!!!!!

A: Thanks for your enquiry. Yes it is a Big F n Deal. Sorry My Old bike is a Specialized Tarmac S-Works (only $8000) not a LearSport. I've never ridden anything like a LearSport. (And pray I never will) The closest would be the Apollo Concorde I started on in 1990. P.S. If u can pick up a Specialized S-Works Roubaix SL For only $6+ JUMP ON IT! They RRP for $9500. I like how you used the line 'COME DOWN TO EARTH \, SPACE MAN!!!!!' This is a very relevant point, The Specialized I ride shares a lot of technology with the sort of equipment NASA and Boeing as using. Good Point.

Haha I love winding these guys up. Wayne's already happy with the $315 that the bike has reach... haha. Poor bastards buying shitty cheap bikes. They're so fragile. Like Ant.

Gunsle

Le Gunsle Le Back!!!

Well after much delay Gunsle is back on the bike again.
Thanks to *Secret Coach* and TheKillerAnt, and also Brian for riding up the 1:20 with me.

23mins 14secs is the time to beat. Shouldn't be too hard.
We're going again next tuesday.
6:30am @ Dots Diner (cnr Mtn Hwy & Dorset rd)

Special Thanks to TheKillerAnt for pushing me so hard to go out at such an early hour & for the awesome leadout coming down the mountain.

I think *Secret Coach* and TheKillerAnt gave me the sprint, either that or they both just shit themselves because I was throwing shit @ them. i.e. My Flashing LED Headlight that fell of and smashed to smitherines in the sprint.


I know you guys don't do a post for each and every ride you do buy this ride to me was especially significant as I haven't ridden since May 5th in the USA. (May 6th in Oz)

I hope we can make it a regular ride, perhaps get a few more on it.
Today we left @ 6am but we should be able to go @ 6:30am sharp and I'll still get home by 8am to organize the kids.

So Thanks guys, I enjoyed the ride immensly!!!

Mint!!

Gunniez0r Over and Out!

Gunsle's Funny eBay question replies.

2nd Update:
Q: Just wanted something to stop the yacht from drifting in heavy seas. Cheers.
A: Excellent response, thanks for your humour. :)

Update:
Q: So, you have a Specialized S Works. Who's going to bother stealing that? Re anal sex, I've heard otherwise. Good luck with the auction. Keep taking those pills.

A: Haha, well I'm tipping someone who's looking to buy a 2nd-hand LearSport could only dream of owning a Specialized S-Works. Must suck being bottom of the food chain.

I'm currently selling WEvans training bike a LearSport.

Click here to see the ad.

Q: Mate, Not allowing inspection is going to cost you big time. Why so anal??

A: I don't care mate, if I wanted inspections perhaps I'd have tried the Trading Post. I'm an Auction Broker. I'm not having some dodgy bastard coming around to my place to check out this bike and then coming back later uninvited for my Specialized S-Works Roubaix SL. If you don't like it, don't bid. Simple. It's a level playing field anyway, what about the people interstate? And no I'm not into Anal Sex. Thanks all the same..

I have no patience for toolbags...

Gunsle

Non-regulation helmet...

This helmet does not meet UCI regulations.

This was some guy wearing Le Tour clothing going frigin BANG!! in the BBN club track champs about five months ago.

T9e0's Recovery Ride

Proudly brought to you by...

Isn't it great when Clix melt in your mouth.

I thought I would share with you some of the sights on one of my training recovery rides. It is a pretty cool MTB ride with nice mix of 4 x 4 trails and sealed road that wanders through the Beechworth gorge.

First up is one of many bloody huge granite rocks in the area, with settting sun to boot! Now all I need is my deck chair..

Some people have taken advantage of the gorge and built at the top of it....which would kind of make back yard cricket/footy interesting. "Kick it to meeiiiiiiiiiahhhhhhhhhhhh......"

And what would a gorge be without a water feature...

Which is all good and well. But I do miss you guys as this lot haven't been too talkative lately. They just keep banging on about stages and dancing and some stupid "mupet" show...

Keep riding guys!... Cheers T9e0.

The One That Got Away (TheKillerAnt)

THEKILLERANT HAS A NIGHTMARE!!

Just add long socks, pitch darkness and this pretty much paints the picture...
Well first off i must say that this is a massive achievement, i will mark down the 4th of september as the first time i have ever had a 'running away from bad guys' nightmare and i got away!! I know this may sound like its impossible but its true.


THE DETAILS
I was standing outside the Chirnside Park Country Club wearing only underwear and long socks at roughly 2-4am when a P-plater car of around 3-4 occupants drove past me. I started walking home in my jocks and long socks when i heared something behind me, it was 3-4 angry teenagers out for my blood!! they were chasing, throwing things, yelling, screaming..and i was scared!!
Seeing as though this guy (left) has the same build as me (TheKillerAnt), just remove the whole water thing and you get another accurate picture of my nightmare...oh yeah, and add long socks too!

WHAT MAKES THIS NIGHTMARE SO HUGE??
Usually when running away, driving away, whatever, from bad guys in nightmares, you or your car or whatever, moves really slowly and you get caught everytime - FACT
Last nights nightmare, i ran like the wind, the guys chasing me gave up and actually yelled out, "F*ck this! He's too fit"
This was a huge dream moment, almost like knocking back a hottie for s3x in real life, it just doesnt happen. (and if this has happened for you, maybe substitute s3x for a blowy, now that surely never happens)

So today is the first day of the rest of my life, no longer will i fear the bad guys chasing whilst i can barely move when trying to get away from them, i am TheKillerAnt, lord of the runners away in nightmares people ;) (this is huge, i got away)

Thanks for reading (a big shout-out to BC, u inspire me)

Happy Fathers Day....

Hi Guys, well it was Fathers Day yesterday, I hope you all had a good one. Particularly you Monster.

For my Fathers Day, after receiving a few typical gifts, we headed down to Phillip Island for the day, visiting the Mrs Grandparents.
A nice relaxing day, I went and checked out several dive spots to see if the roaring wind had left any sheltered. Alas it hadn't but I had fun looking with T-Man, bashing thru the bush and climbing over rocks.
Some of you might recognize the location of these photos. Where we went for my Birthday last year. Pyramid Rock.
We also dropped by the race track to check out the Porsche Club racing.

Awesome day, did a little 4wding. Was raining when we arrived but fined up in the Avo.

TheKillerAnt gets drunk

Well! To all my loyal readers out there their (i cant differentiate between the there's) here is another KillerAnt post for you all!! I know they are few and far between but after much positive feedback from many of u for my 'Bay 2 Bay crashic' post i figured i owe it 2 u all to do a rather funny post :)

This picture is kind of funny...i think anyway ;0

I got so drunk last night that i was still tipsy after 11am today, seriously. My secret coach gives me each wednesday off the bike so last night (tuesday) i figured that i would let my lovely locks down and have a skinfull of assorted spirits, wine, port etc. It was a great night, both 'the tron' and I had a ball, dancing around like immature gits, listening to some incredible tunes played at maximum noise...ahhh i feel a headache coming on again (i have drank three beers today trying to keep them away). So yeah...my form on my thursday session may be a little sketchy to say the least :)

In other news...I saw a sneak peak of the 2007 Harley Davidson range the other day and one model in particular made me quite excited!! Its the '2007 Night Rod', I am so impressed with how m*tha f*cking BATMAN it looks, MINT!!

I also have one other little thing i would like to share with you all. I am booked into sky dive...I am confronting my biggest fear on planet earth and am not looking forward to reaching speeds of 220km/h on my way down from 20,000feet. But TheKillerAnt is undergoing a major transformation at present, I shall be a 'new and improved' version by years end!!

Thanks for reading, please login and comment :)

Disclaimer: I am so scared about this sky dive that it makes me lose my appetite when i think about it, i start to feel faint (seriously) and sick in the stomach.

Andreas (Monster) Kloden

In late breaking news, Andreas (Monster) Kloden, who bares as scary resemblance to CoT member AKA "Monster" has left T-Mobile to join Vino @ Team Astana. Seen here riding in T-Mobile colours....... Wait a friggen minute...... Kloden you are mean't to take the Testosterone patch off before you start racing!

Miss N00d Victoria Update....

Well here she is, this is Lauren Strutting her stuff.